I bought a Hummer before I bought a house, and then I bought a house. Every year, everything doubled. The work was doubling. The money was doubling. The popularity was doubling.

You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

In the beginning, yes. I didn't like it because I wanted people to know me by Gabriel Iglesias, not by Fluffy.

I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it.

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.

My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.