We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives.
I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.
You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that's all I've ever done.
I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'
I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time.
I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.