I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining.

In the beginning, yes. I didn't like it because I wanted people to know me by Gabriel Iglesias, not by Fluffy.

My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.

I think the furthest I ever got was Guitar Hero. If I could start a band like that, I think I could do it.

When you're a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special.