I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.

We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives.

I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'

A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work.

I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.

Well, like I said, there's no reason everyone can't have a piece of the pie, even if there's a gordo there eating most of it.

I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.