I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.

I think the furthest I ever got was Guitar Hero. If I could start a band like that, I think I could do it.

For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You're in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh.

I go on the road all the time, but I'm only performing for two hours a night, and then I'll do a meet-and-greet, and then I'll get a bite to eat, get drunk, pass out, wake up the next day, sleeping the next day, sleeping off the hangover, and then I'm in the next city.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.

You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They're just blown up Mexicans!