Understand that you don't know it all. You don't know anything yet. What you've been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don't marry your first love.

Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!

Being on TV sucks. It's a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I'm a control freak. When I'm doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback.

When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, 'I want to go to that McDonalds.

I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.

I think the furthest I ever got was Guitar Hero. If I could start a band like that, I think I could do it.

If you aim to be big, you will be big. And that's not a pun about my size.