In heaven, you get right through. In hell, they put you on hold.

the first thing I did when I made the decision to kill myself was to stop dieting. Let them dig a wider hole.

Don't we realize we're a business, we single girls are? Every building that goes up in Manhattan has more than fifty percent efficiency apartments . . . for the one million girls who have very little use for them.

How do you tell your mother that you feel you're getting... old? If I'm... old, then what is she?

Fact: Girls who are having a good sex thing stay in New York. The rest want to spend their summer vacations in Europe.

Do you want to live in a world where a man lies about calories?

Volleyball is a Jewish sport. It's fun, and nobody can get hurt.