Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.

Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.

All solutions are temporary, so why not go for duct tape?

Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

I usually don't work with other people; I do the whole show myself.