Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

People meet writers and are bowled over when the writer is friendly to them and invites them to his house for a glass of wine or to shoot up heroin or whatever they do, and they talk their heads off, and a year later it comes out in a book, and there follow years of bitter and fruitless litigation, and that is why you should always keep a writer at arm's length.

We carry adolescence around in our bodies all our lives. We get through the Car Crash Age alive and cruise through our early twenties as cool dudes, wily, dashing, winsome . . . shooting baskets, the breeze, the moon, and then we try to become caring men, good husbands, great fathers, good citizens.

I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.

Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.