The thought of people in this day and age sitting down to listen to a radio variety show on Saturday evening is rather implausible and was even more so in 1974 when we started “A Prairie Home Companion.” Thank goodness Minnesota Public Radio was too poor to afford good advice or the show never would've got on the air. We only did it because we knew it would be fun to do. It was a dumb idea. I wish I knew how to be that dumb again.

Wal-Mart is going in and slaughtering [small towns] just as we once killed the buffalo.

To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.

Sing your song; don't let the bastards get you down.

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.

We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.