The thought of people in this day and age sitting down to listen to a radio variety show on Saturday evening is rather implausible and was even more so in 1974 when we started “A Prairie Home Companion.” Thank goodness Minnesota Public Radio was too poor to afford good advice or the show never would've got on the air. We only did it because we knew it would be fun to do. It was a dumb idea. I wish I knew how to be that dumb again.

Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever.

I'm a lucky guy. I get to sit around every day and indulge in make believe and get paid for it.

Boys, the first drink is a boon, the second is a gamble, the third is poor judgment, and then the rate of descent gets steep

Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.

Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.

Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.