Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see, say, thirty cans of tomato sauce and a five-pound bag of rice, I get a little thrill of well-being - much more so than if I take a look at the quarterly dividend report from my mutual fund.

God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster.

When you're a little kid, your heart is open and tender and a harsh word can go straight in and become part of your life.

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.

Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.