Wal-Mart is going in and slaughtering [small towns] just as we once killed the buffalo.

You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.

Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.

It's important for survival that children have their own experiences, the kind they learn from. The kind their parents arrange for are not as useful. Good parents are the hardest to get rid of.