Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.

Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.

I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

Being rich and thin isn't everything.

For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.