Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Woebegon

Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God writes a lot of comedy, its just that he has so many bad actors.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.

I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.

Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have.