Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.

To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

I usually don't work with other people; I do the whole show myself.

This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.