For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.

I usually don't work with other people; I do the whole show myself.

A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.

Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

People do what they are told not to do. It happens time and time again. Here on the frozen tundra, it is known as the Tongue on the Frozen Pump Handle principle.

Cleverness is a burden after that. You are supposed to settle down and be a good person, raise your children, and be good to your friends, which you may not have been back when you were clever.