Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

I'm of an age when if I started to do eulogies, I'd be doing nothing else. You don't want to be remembered? I don't want them to be told to remember me.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.

I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.