It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

TV news is as bloody as Shakespeare but without the intelligence and the poetry. If you watch television news you know less about the world than if you drank gin out of a bottle

That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.

Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.

In the end, all solutions are temporary.

Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.