I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.

When in doubt, look intelligent.

I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don't feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in encouraging people who are in competition with me.

Boys, the first drink is a boon, the second is a gamble, the third is poor judgment, and then the rate of descent gets steep

A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.