I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.

Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.

I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

I think everything contributes to your creativity.