I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.