I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.

It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.