The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Without my family, I'd be something.

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.