No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.