My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

I think everything contributes to your creativity.

What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.