If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.