I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.