I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.

I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.

Do you know what Bill Gates has to pull out of an old coat, to feel like I did with a $20 bill? First of all, the idea that Bill Gates has an old coat is preposterous. If he has an old coat, it's the coat Abe Lincoln was shot in and he wears it as a bathrobe - no underwear by the way. He lets his billionaire balls swing willy-nilly beneath the death cloak of the great emancipator. That's your 1%.

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.