The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

I think everything contributes to your creativity.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.