The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.

I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.

I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.