I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.

I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.