I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

Without my family, I'd be something.

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.

I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.