A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

All religions begin with a revolt against morality, and perish when morality conquers them.

A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes superannuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures.

I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.

With the exception of capitalism, there is nothing so revolting as revolution.

I must have been an insufferable child; all children are.

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.