A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income.

In a living society every day is a day of judgment; and its recognition as such is not the end of all things but the beginning ofa real civilization.

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it.

When God created man and woman, he did not take a patent. That's why any imbecile has been able to do so ever since.

The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business.

During the last considerable epidemic at the turn of the century, I was a member of the Health Committee of London Borough Council, and I learned how the credit of vaccination is kept up statistically by diagnosing all the revaccinated cases (of smallpox) as pustular eczema, varioloid or what not---except smallpox.