Crime is only the retail department of what, in wholesale, we call penal law.

If you go to Heaven without being naturally qualified for it you will not enjoy yourself there.

My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably.

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.

The test of good education is seeing how it behaves in a fight.

My schooling not only failed to teach me what it professed to be teaching, but prevented me from being educated to an extent which infuriates me when I think of all I might have learned at home by myself.

As 99 per cent of English authors and 100 per cent of American ones [authors] are just such imbeciles, managers and publishers make a practice of asking for every right the author possesses.