Unless comedy touches me as well as amuses me, it leaves me with a sense of having wasted my evening. I go to the theatre to be moved to laughter, not to be tickled or bustled into it.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Is the devil to have all the passions as well as all the good tunes?

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.

Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespeare and Milton and The Bible; and don't sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon.

You must not suppose, because I am a man of letters, that I never tried to earn an honest living.

Although I cannot lay an egg, I am a very good judge of omelettes