It is feeling that sets a man thinking, and not thought that sets him feeling.

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Civilization is a disease produced by the practice of building societies with rotten material.

Most of the money given by rich people in "charity" is made up of conscience money, "ransom," political bribery, and bids for titles.... One buys moral credit by signing a cheque, which is easier than turning a prayer wheel.

Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one. Telegram inviting Winston Churchill to opening night of Pygmalion. Churchill wired back: Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend the second - if there is one.

I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler; I don't like beer.

It exasperated her to think that the dungeon in which she had languished for so many unhappy years had been unlocked all the time, and that the impulses she had so carefully struggled with and stifled for the sake of keeping well with society, were precisely those by which alone she could have come into any sort of sincere human contact.