The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and about all time.

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

I become more convinced that beings from other planets are using the Earth as a lunatic asylum

I have not wasted my life trifling with literary fools in taverns, as Johnson did, when he should have been shaking England with the thunder of his spirit

Pasteboard pies and paper flowers are being banished from the stage by the growth of that power of accurate observation which is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it...

Poverty blights whole cities; spreads horrible pestilences; strikes dead the very souls of all who come within sight, sound, or smell of it