Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

The chief objection to playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.

Violence is the repartee of the illiterate.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

It is the first duty of every man not to be poor.

Think what cowards men would be if they had to bear children. Women are altogether a superior species.