Capitalism drives the employers to do their worst to the employed, and the employed to do the least for them. And it boasts all the time of the incentive it provides to both to do their best! . . . The reason the Capitalist system has worked so far without jamming for more than a few months at a time, and then only in places, is that it has not yet succeeded in making a conquest of human nature so complete that everybody acts on strictly business principles.

If you demand my authorities for this and that, I must reply that only those who have never hunted up the authorities as I have believe that there is any authority who is not contradicted flatly by some other authority.

General consultant to mankind.

I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

There are scores of thousands of human insects who are ready at a moment's notice to reveal the Will of God on every possible subject

You practically do not use semicolons at all. This is a symptom of mental defectiveness, probably induced by camp life.

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.