Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale was once I had one of their padlocks.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods.