This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

Lots of people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It's simple - we don't do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business you get tired; and when you get tired you get grouchy; and when you get grouchy you start fighting; and when you start fighting you're out of business.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.