How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen; that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George CarlinHave you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Itโs because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George CarlinI profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
George CarlinI'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin