Jesus was a cross-dresser.

We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.

Someone said, and rightfully, that "property is theft'." There's no way a man can stand and tell me that he owns an apple tree. I just don't believe you. And so this pursuit of position and money and power, they are all wrapped up into one package that I think is crippling, debilitating and limiting. And unfortunately, people get sucked into it and then they've got you on the treadmill. You know: ''You've got to have a good job'' and "You've got to have a good education'' - which is another word for indoctrination. We're never going to rise above these limitations we've placed on ourselves.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.

Professional soldiers are people who die for a living.

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.