We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George CarlinThe Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George CarlinIn TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.
George CarlinMy left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George CarlinPeople are dreaming if they think they have rights. They've never had rights. There's no such thing.
George CarlinSomeone once said, if you scratch a cynic, and you'll find a disappointed idealist. That really rang a bell with me - because I recognized that, within me, there is this flame, of wishing it were better, wishing people had better lives, that there was more of an authentic sharing and harmony with nature.
George Carlin