When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.
George CarlinY'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
George CarlinA woman told me her child was autistic, and I thought she said artistic. So I said, 'Oh great. I'd like to see some of the things he's done.
George Carlin