If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.

Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.

I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!