You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.

Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.

I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.

Engineers at General Motors have developed a revolutionary new engine whose only function is to lubricate itself.

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids

Suddenly, I was thirty, very unhappy entertaining people in their forties, and here came a group of people in their teens and twenties who had similar anti-authority problems and similar dreams and wishes, hopes for mankind. So I gravitated toward them.

There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!