You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.

Movies and television don't make you violent; all they do is channel the violence more creatively.

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell.

Never underestimate the role pretension plays when it comes to creating euphemistic language.

Dogs and cats get put to sleep; hogs and cows get slaughtered.