Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.

I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.

As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.