I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

"Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass."

A crumb is a great thing: If you break a crumb in half, you don't get two half-crumbs, you get two crumbs. Doesn't that violate some law of physics?

How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.