I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.

How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was."; "Drinking will significantly improve your chances of murdering a loved one."; "If you drink long enough, at some point you will vomit up the lining of your stomach."; "Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman."

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.