I went to my old school, where all the kids I'd been with for eight years were about to graduate. But the sisters wanted me to repeat the whole term; so I went to the principal and pleaded with her to allow me to graduate with my class. She finally agreed on the condition that I write the graduation play. It was called How Do You Spend Your Leisure Time?Catchy title, huh?
George CarlinWhen people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning.
George CarlinSometimes, after I'd gone at the coke like one of those snow plows moving up First Avenue, I'd think my heart was over on the dresser, pounding, and I was watching it. I asked some of the doctors who drifted through the intensive-care unit what kind of effect total cocaine abuse has on the heart and they said things like, "Well, there's not enough valid information...." That kind of answer.
George CarlinPresident George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin