Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.

Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.

To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't need guidance from.

There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the "hail fellow well met" camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.

When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?