Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

You know something I could really do without? The Space Shuttle. ... It's irresponsible. The last thing we should be doing is sending our grotesquely distorted DNA out into space.

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.

Your home is your refuge.

The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

Professional soldiers are people who die for a living.