Never underestimate the role pretension plays when it comes to creating euphemistic language.

Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations; he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.

We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.

I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

A scary dream makes your heart beat faster. Why doesn't the part of your brain that controls your heartbeat realize that another part of your brain is making the whole thing up? Don't these people communicate?

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.